All We Have To Do Is To Be Honest

I have a friend who grew up on a small farm in South Georgia. It was his boyhood responsibility to shell corn and feed the ducks every day. One day, for no apparent reason, he started throwing ears of corn at the ducks. One of the ears of corn hit a duckling in the ear and killed it. Terrified, he buried the little creature behind the barn and pretended nothing had happened.

That evening, he excused himself from supper and went to bed early. His mother asked him, "What's wrong, son?" He broke and started to weep, confessing, "I killed one of the ducks." His mother said, "I saw what happened today. I've been waiting for you to tell me, son. Don't you know that I love you more than 10,000 ducks? I forgive you. Thanks for being honest."

The One who made us, loves us and is eager to forgive us. All we have to do is to be honest.

The Animals Within Us

Carl Sandburg has a poem in which he talks about the zoo of animals that were within him. I can identify with this poem. There is a horde of wild animals within me as well.
There is a hippopotamus within me that wants to wallow around in laziness.
There is a lion inside me that roars and is dangerous.
There is a snake in me that is subtle and deceptive.
But the key line of Sandburg's poem is the one that says, "But I am the keeper of the zoo." In other words, I am the one responsible for keeping all these destructive potentials within me in check. I have been given the power of choice and my decisions determine my destiny.
The object of life is not to decide whom to pin the blame on but to take what life deals to us and to accept responsibility for our own future.

Co-Dependent Behavior

A long time ago, a friend said something to me that was very profound. He said, "Jim, I give you my word that for as long as I live I'll be there for you. Regardless of what you need, no matter how small or large, I will do it. There are only two qualifications: It has got to be something I can do, and it has got to be good for you for me to do it." Do you know something? If someone is your friend or loved one, you can say that to them. But don't forget the two provisos. There are some things people need that we cannot do. We do not have the personal resources. And sometimes we are able to do things that would not be good for them for us to do. It is a wrong thing to practice co-dependent behavior.

Dreams

Most of the time our dreams are what I call "soul leaks." They say something about our fears and anxieties.
But occasionally our dreams are spiritual messages that come from outside us.

The other night, I wrestled with the memory of something I did wrong a long time ago. I didn't sleep well. My dreams disturbed me. One time I even got up in an attempt to wash it out. But when I went back to bed, it stayed with me.

I finally got up and waited until a decent hour to call the person I had offended years ago. I apologized and asked for forgiveness. They gave it.

The rest of the day I felt great. My dreams had become the means by which the Holy One had helped me to clean up my life.

"Stinkin' Thinking"

When you have a problem with alcohol or drugs, your thinking is impaired. You make stupid choices. They call it "stinkin' thinking" in AA.

I do not say that as a criticism. I say it because it's the truth. I know - I'm an alcoholic. I don't drink any more but I still go to the meetings.

There is a saying in Alcoholics Anonymous that if you are still using and you think something is a good idea, you probably ought to do the opposite.

If you are still drinking or drugging, I've got some advice for you: Be very careful about the decisions you make. You could be digging the ditch deeper and making your bed harder. The best advice I could give you would be to find a chapter of AA or NA and pick up a "desire chip."

The "100 to 1" Principle

Are you familiar with the "100 to 1" principle? I'll bet you are. Here is how it works: If 100 people tell you that you are wonderful, and one person tells you that you're a jerk, you give weight not to the 100 but to the one critic. I'll bet a lot of you have fallen prey to the "100 to 1" principle.

Then it gets worse. We collect the criticisms of these "ones" in our hearts. We look for evidence that our accusers are right. We add our own negative self-talk to the pile. It becomes a self-mutilation.

Why can't we take seriously the words of the 100 persons who give us positive affirmations? When people give you a compliment, don't throw it off. Receive it any say "thank you." And cut out the negative self-talk.

Boy Scout Camp

When my oldest son was twelve years old, he went to Boy Scout camp. It was his first camping experience and it lasted a week.

The fathers were invited to come out on Wednesday night, to eat supper and to spend a few minutes with our sons. When I arrived, my son met me with sobs, begging me to take him home. At the end of the night, he walked me to the car, tugging on me all the way. It was unbelievably hard to drive off and leave him there.
I worried about him for the rest of the week. I saw him in my mind's eye, sobbing day and night. But when I picked him up on Saturday morning, he was all smiles. He introduced me to his new friends, and there was no mention of Wednesday night.

And the truth is: you are going to live through your crises, too.