Memorizing Massive Amounts

Did you know that if you have average intelligence you have sufficient brain power to memorize the entire Encyclopedia Britannica? That's right; you can memorize massive amounts of material. Here are seven steps:

1. First, you've got to be interested in the material.
2. Second, you need to understand what you're learning.
3. Third, you need to associate the thing you wish to know with something meaningful that you already know.
4. Fourth, you've got to put it in a logical sequence.
5. Fifth, make a hand-eye connection. Write down what you want to remember in the way you want to remember it.
6. Sixth, concentrate on the information. See it in your mind's eye in outline form.
7. Seventh, repeat it over and over and over and over again.

  

Wrong Number

Did you hear about the fellow who came to work with both ears badly burned? Someone asked him what happened. Here's how he explained his calamity. He said, "I was ironing my shirt when the phone rang. Instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally put the iron to my ear." He added, "The terrible thing is that it was a wrong number."

His friend questioned him further, "What happened to the other ear?"

The response was, "Wouldn’t you know it? That idiot called back!"

I know people just like that. No matter what happens, they blame their errors on somebody else. They specialize in blaming.

Church Bloopers

Here are some bloopers that have ended up in church worship bulletins:

•  "Immediately after the service there will be a parents meeting at both the north and the south sides of the Sanctuary. Children will be baptized at both ends."
• "This being Easter, we will ask Helen Smith to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."
•  "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church."
• "After the first hymn turn to someone and say hell."
• "Do you want to know what hell is like? Come hear our choir."
• "Don’t let worry kill you. Let the church help."

  

Prosperity, Power, and Privilege

How can a person know when they are a success? For most people success is measured by three "Ps": prosperity, power, and privilege. But these are inadequate measuring tools.

Here is an insight: why not leave it for the next generation to decide whether you've been a success or a failure? After all, if you are still around, you are still in the race.
Sometimes people who look like successes end up proving to be failures. And sometimes people who never see the fruit of their lives end up being the means by which others achieve great things in the next generation.

My whole life I have been standing on the shoulders of others who went before me and made my success possible. On the surface it looks like I've been more successful than they were, but it's not really true.

Memorable Funeral

I will never forget a funeral I attended as a teenager. I went with my Uncle Charlie, who conducted the service. At the graveside ,the grieving widower began to weep, moan, and sigh. He said, "Don't leave me Mary. You can’t leave me, Mary. I can't live without you, Mary." Then he jumped on top of the casket and his moans and sighs became screams.

The whole thing freaked me out. I went home feeling so sorry for that poor old man whose wife died.

A week later I got a phone call from my Uncle Charlie. He said, "do you remember the old man who wailed and jumped on top of his wife's casket pleading for her not to leave him? Well, he got married today."

Write it down: Not every expression of grief is authentic.

"Who was that masked man?"

One day I stopped by my house between a funeral and a graveside internment. I never have liked to follow the policemen in those funeral processions. I left immediately after the service and dropped by my house. I checked the mail, got something to eat and drink, and then decided to go to the cemetery. I figured I had plenty of time. As I came near to the cemetery I saw that a line of cars had already moved in and gathered around a body. I was late.

I sped my pace, parked my car, and ran to the graveside, naturally in a reverent way. I walked to the head of the casket, steadied myself, and looked out on the crowd. I didn’t know anyone. It suddenly occurred to me that I was at the wrong funeral.

I lowered my head and made my way to the car as quickly and reverently as I could. As I left I could hear people say, "Who was that masked man?"

Have you ever heard the term "Wrong-Way Corrigan?"

Have you ever heard the term "Wrong-Way Corrigan?" I have heard it all my life. This phrase goes back to a true story from 1938. Douglas Corrigan took off in his plane from Brooklyn, New York, to Long Beach, California. A little over twenty-three hours later he touched down in Dublin, Ireland. Upon getting out of the plane, he asked the airport officials, "Is this Los Angeles?"

For years people made fun of Douglas. "Wrong-Way Corrigan," they called him. But in 1963 – 25 years later - he finally admitted that he violated his flight plan on purpose. He had tried to get permission to cross the Atlantic Ocean in his plane. The authorities refused his request. So he went ahead and crossed the pond any way - accidentally on purpose.

Let's tell the truth: Some of our errors and bad judgments, whether consciously or not, are committed on purpose.