You know it's hot when:
Scalding water comes instantly from both taps.
You break a sweat the instant you walk outside in the morning.
Potatoes cook in the ground, so you just pull them up and add butter.
Farmers feed there chickens ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
You can brew sun tea indoors.
Your car seat is an oven and your safety belt is a branding iron.
The highway asphalt is liquefying.
The Baptists baptizing by sprinkling, the Pentecostals are giving rain checks, the Methodists are using wet wipes, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to be turned back into water.