A State Patrolman pulled a car over for speeding. The Officer said to the male driver, "Sir, you were doing 70 mph."
"I couldn't have been," responded the driver. I had my cruise control set on 55." "That's not true, honey," said his wife."You were driving 70 mph."
The Patrolman continued: "And I noticed as I walked up that you were putting on your seatbelt. I'll have to charge you for that, too."
"It can't be so," answered the driver. "I always put it on first when I get into the car." "You forgot this time, honey," his wife retorted.
By this time the driver was upset. "Will you please shut up?" he shouted at his wife. The Patrolman looked at the wife and asked, "Does your husband always talk to you like this?" "No," said the wife. "Only when he's drunk."
The moral is: be careful how you talk to your loved ones!