Friday, August 5, 2011
Co-Dependent Behavior
A long time ago, a friend said something to me that was very profound. He said, "Jim, I give you my word that for as long as I live I'll be there for you. Regardless of what you need, no matter how small or large, I will do it. There are only two qualifications: It has got to be something I can do, and it has got to be good for you for me to do it." Do you know something? If someone is your friend or loved one, you can say that to them. But don't forget the two provisos. There are some things people need that we cannot do. We do not have the personal resources. And sometimes we are able to do things that would not be good for them for us to do. It is a wrong thing to practice co-dependent behavior.
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Jim,
ReplyDeleteI have tried to do a little writing on who to help, how to help, who to accept help from and the ramifications of expectations created when help is given or received. Your comments have helped, but help can be a slippery slope. Even determining whether or not the help is good for someone or not can be difficult.
Jim,
ReplyDeleteI once thought about going to a CODA meeting, but I could not find anyone to go with me.