Most of us feel a strong need to have a portion of our lives remain completely private. There are things we do not want anyone else to know. We want a few things about ourselves and our past bolted behind a door and marked "Private- Do not disturb."
The reason we have a strong need for this private space is because of shame. We are afraid that when people find out who we truly are, they will reject us or humiliate us.
Instead of needing a place of privacy, we actually need a close friend, an intimate confidante, a trustworthy person to whom we can disclose our most shameful secrets. Here's the catch: in order to have such a person, we must risk disclosure. We must be willing to take down the "Do not disturb" signs, and gradually welcome someone into our private space, until finally there are no more secrets.
Remember: our secrets are what make us sick; self-disclosure with a safe person heals us.
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