Advantages of Growing Older

I told you yesterday that I was getting old. Now let me tell you the advantages of growing older:

• Everyone you meet reminds you of someone you used to know.
• Your knees buckle, your belt won't buckle, and you don't care.
• No one is asking the questions you know the answers to, so you are able to stay quiet more.
• You get to build your weekly schedule around your doctors' appointments.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• You never wear out your new purchases.
• You consider health insurance one of your best investments.
• Your dreams are all reruns.
• You get to stay away from health food because you need all the preservatives you can get.
• You realize that the things you once thought were important, aren't.