The worst funeral experience I ever had was for a woman I didn't know. The old lady had suffered from dementia and been relocated to an out of town nursing home many years before. They brought her back to town to bury her. I was asked to do the honors.
Since I didn't know the lady I met with her daughter to find out something about her. "Tell me some good memories you have of your mother," I asked the daughter.
Her response surprised me."I can’t think of anything. She was a mean lady and a bad mother. I hated her."
I pressed her. After all, even Hitler probably helped a little old lady across the street when he was a boy. No one is completely bad. But she didn't break. She told abusive, neglective stories about her mother.
I’ve thought about that daughter a lot through the years. And do you know what? I think it was the daughter who was mean.